Don’t forget that the Cavs were holding Milwaukee’s beer

There’s nothing worse than waking up after a long night of being a mess, knowing the “Are you alive?” text messages from friends will start arriving as soon as they wake up. You just want to bury yourself in the sheets and sleep through the whole ordeal. However, if you are the cleveland cavaliersyou’re in luck because while you were on the porch throwing up jello shots, the milwaukeeDollars were running through the quad and be picked up by campus security.

Only on paper, losing to an eighth seed in five games he is worse than a four seed losing to the top five seeds in a mr sweep, but if you listened to the Cavs-knicks series, it was ugly. Donovan Mitchell only had one game in which he shot more than 50 percent from the field. Darius Garland did his play off debut, and that was noticeable in a bad way. third best Cav Evan Mobley never scored more than 13 points, and he and fellow front court Jarrett Allen were neutralized by New York’s physique.

Cleveland was outrebounded 227 to 186 in the series and lost all but one game by double digits. The season-long recipe for the Cavs was to lean on stingy defense and let the star backcourt take control when necessary, but that’s the spirit of Tom Thibodeau, the thesis statement of his memoir, the ace. off the sleeve

Styles make fights, and Cavs-Knicks was Christian Bale vs. Tom Hardy circa The Dark Knight Rises. JB Bickerstaff tracked Thibs down to the sewers, berated him, then broke his back. It doesn’t help that Mitchell’s offense is shackled to his defensive effort, or that he’s shot 13-of-45 from deep overall.

You knew the season was over within five minutes of watching Game 5. I was streaming it on the NBA TV app, which is always fun because they give you a live feed from the jumbotron during commercial breaks, and the Cleveland crowd had disconnected from this. team as soon as they dropped early.

I guess a scapegoat will be named pretty soon, and I wouldn’t feel too good if it was JB right now. They needed a 3-yD wing all season, so Koby Altman isn’t entirely safe, either. If he has Mitchell, Garland, Mobely and Jarrett, all it has to be is league average in that last starting spot. If you put Caris Lavert, Cedi Osman, and Isaac Okoro together in a single player like Play-Doh, then you’d have a complete forward, but the technology for that kind of procedure doesn’t exist.

No matter what, they’re going to need more of Mobley on the offensive end of the floor for this team to reach its potential. His regular season average was 16 points per game, and the Knicks limited him to 10 a night.

So yeah Cleveland you avoided going viral because milwaukee showed his ass on the NBA Twitter, but you need to organize your shit as much as they do.

Here’s hoping the Knicks and Heat fight flat-footed

the only good thing about jimmy butler even being in the playoffs there are New York and Miami Get to renew your vows after a long period of meaningless playoff series. While there was a 2-7 matchup in 2012, one team had LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, and the other had Carmelo Anthony.

This 5-8 iteration looks like it will be a lot more competitive, with a lot more at stake. Both teams wake up every day and choose violence. I want Buckets and Jalen Brunson to go toe to toe like Roberto Duran and Sugar Ray Leonard during the fight in Montreal.

You’re going to need a rabies shot after every Knicks home game. The Madison Square Garden crowd is going to rave, and if you thought Trae Young was a cad, wait until Judo Butler cuts Brunson down on a breakaway..

The plus/minus ejected in this series is 17, and I am seriously concerned about Julius Randle’s mental health. I also can’t wait for Butler to run a full-page ad in the Miami Herald warning Heat fans after 10,000 Coke. The New Yorkers invade the Kaseya Center for Games 3 and 4.

I can not wait.

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