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God declares that Hawkeye is slightly more valuable than ‘a randomly chosen mailbox’

The heroes of Marvel Comics currently have some issues being judged harshly by an unstoppable space god. And this week saw another long-anticipated development in the hit event series AX: Judgment Day.

In May, Marvel Comics posted their retail solicitations for the month, including a brief description of avengers #60, which read: “Hawkeye must prove that he brings at least as much joy and usefulness to the world as a randomly chosen mailbox.”

Regarding which I only had one thing to say: “GodI hope you meant it literally.” Now we finally know the answer.

What else is going on in the pages of our favorite comics? We’ll tell you. Welcome to Monday Funnies, Polygon’s weekly list of the books our comic editor enjoyed last week. They’re part superhero life society pages, part reading recommendations, part “check out this cool art.” There may be some spoilers. There may not be enough context. But there will be great comics. (And if you missed the last edition, read this.)

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Hawkeye and the Heavenly Progenitor (in the form of Black Widow) discuss her trial while paying for her burger.  “How about this,” says the Celestial, “if your life brings as much joy and meaning to the universe as that blue metal box, pointing to a USPS mailbox, in Avengers #60 (2022).

Image: Mark Russell, Greg Land, Jay Leisten/Marvel Comics

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reader, is I was literal. In the end, Clint gave up hope of passing the Progenitor’s test, but the Celestial forgave him anyway. Not because he had always done well, but because he had shown the capacity for growth in him. “Which,” said the Progenitor, “apparently a mailbox can’t do.”

Princess Spinstress performs at a medieval ball, in her red and blue dress and sparkly spiderweb skirt in Edge of Spider-Verse #4 (2022).

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Image: David Hein, Luciano Vecchio/Marvel Comics

I’ve been flipping through the pre-End of Spider-Verse anthology Themes, spider verse edge, quite difficult. I guess it’s hard to come up with a cool new Spider-Variant these days after so many official and fan-made ones have gone before. tyrannosaurus rex Spiderman? Come on, DC just did that to the whole damn Justice League.

But this week there were a few variants of the spiders that finally made me sit up and laugh sensibly: Spinstress, the Disney princess from Spiderpersons, complete with her talking spider sidekick and her love interest, the dashing bard Merry James Watson.

And Peter Parkedcar, the Spider-Man of a Cars-type universe. Did I just coin the phrase “Cars-like”? I hope so.

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Auntie-T tells Peter Parkedcar that the Big Conductor has returned.

Image: Dan Slott, Dono Sanchez-Almara/Marvel Comics

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Image: Tom Taylor, Bruno Redondo/DC Comics

Using an imitation Comics Code Authority seal as a censor bar. Will I ever get tired of this joke? No. The answer is no.

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